Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Ever wondered what the hell happened to '80s Metal God Don Dokken (of "We're The Dream Warriors (Theme from A Nightmare on Elmstreet 3) " fame?
Me too! I got to thinking with a resume and name like his, old Don shouldn't have any trouble filling his schedule with club shows and the occasional Guitar World interview.
But if he was looking for an outlet...Have I got the business opportunity for him!
Its time Southern California sees the opening of Don Dokken Ford or just simply, "Dokken Ford" (doesn't "Dokken Ford" scream "CAR DEALERSHIP!???!" and roll off the tongue like a set of new Goodyear tires?). Mr.Dokken could open it up in of those towns known just for their massive amounts of auto dealerships like Tustin, Cerritos, Long Beach, or Norwalk! I can't think of better way to attract new car buyers than to have them sold by a beloved Metal act...can you?
Hell, Dokken could reunite his band for the grand opening!! Nothing sells cars to affluent males like a classic metal tune and a couple of pole dancers thrown in for good measure (marketing types like to call this "atmosphere"). Folk music never sold cars folks, lets face it.
Imagine the thrill of driving away in a new Explorer that was sold to you personally by Don Dokken as "Dream Warriors" blares in 5.1 surround...
Some famous author once said there's no second act in an American life, obviously that person never shopped at Dokken Ford.
Me too! I got to thinking with a resume and name like his, old Don shouldn't have any trouble filling his schedule with club shows and the occasional Guitar World interview.
But if he was looking for an outlet...Have I got the business opportunity for him!
Its time Southern California sees the opening of Don Dokken Ford or just simply, "Dokken Ford" (doesn't "Dokken Ford" scream "CAR DEALERSHIP!???!" and roll off the tongue like a set of new Goodyear tires?). Mr.Dokken could open it up in of those towns known just for their massive amounts of auto dealerships like Tustin, Cerritos, Long Beach, or Norwalk! I can't think of better way to attract new car buyers than to have them sold by a beloved Metal act...can you?
Hell, Dokken could reunite his band for the grand opening!! Nothing sells cars to affluent males like a classic metal tune and a couple of pole dancers thrown in for good measure (marketing types like to call this "atmosphere"). Folk music never sold cars folks, lets face it.
Imagine the thrill of driving away in a new Explorer that was sold to you personally by Don Dokken as "Dream Warriors" blares in 5.1 surround...
Some famous author once said there's no second act in an American life, obviously that person never shopped at Dokken Ford.
Happy Holidays and to all a good night.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I've been one lazy bastard with this blog lately so I humbly apologize...but its the holidays, what I can say? Its the one time of the year where you can basically burn down a chemical plant, hang Big Bird in effigy, declare war on Pasadena, and get away with it because after all, "its the holidays".
Its really the one excuse that you get a free ride because people are a bit more forgiving this time of year: "Sorry honey I wrecked the car, peed on your bosses leg at your Christmas party, and wore the toilet seat 'round my neck on the ride home but I got a little tipsy, and after all "its the holidays".
What else would explain the bizarre compulsion for people to be at a JCPenney at 5:30am on a weekday when they don't work there?
So next time someone cuts you off in traffic, yells at you for doing your job, or basically acts like a complete jerk for no rational reason during the next two weeks, take a deep breath, sit back, and relax.
Its the holidays.
Its really the one excuse that you get a free ride because people are a bit more forgiving this time of year: "Sorry honey I wrecked the car, peed on your bosses leg at your Christmas party, and wore the toilet seat 'round my neck on the ride home but I got a little tipsy, and after all "its the holidays".
What else would explain the bizarre compulsion for people to be at a JCPenney at 5:30am on a weekday when they don't work there?
So next time someone cuts you off in traffic, yells at you for doing your job, or basically acts like a complete jerk for no rational reason during the next two weeks, take a deep breath, sit back, and relax.
Its the holidays.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Here's to the memory of Dimebag Darrell, long may the Cowboy From Hell reign in Heaven...
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Album of the Year!! (those in the know will understand my enthusiasm for the aforementioned statement).
When I return to earth a more meaningful entry will appear.
But let me say this....the films of American International Pictures ' 70s vampire icon Count Yorga rule like the Boston Red Sox and More American Graffitti is perhaps the most underrated movie sequel of the past 25 years!
More after these messages.
When I return to earth a more meaningful entry will appear.
But let me say this....the films of American International Pictures ' 70s vampire icon Count Yorga rule like the Boston Red Sox and More American Graffitti is perhaps the most underrated movie sequel of the past 25 years!
More after these messages.
