Rev.Speats'Blog Cabin

Along with the resignations of Tom Ridge, Colin Powell, and John Ashcroft, another key public figure has decided to step down after years of dutiful service.

Here is his letter:

LETTER OF HONORABLE DISCHARGEFROM THE KISS ARMY

"Should we perish on the fields of battle, bury us not in the cold, gray earth: Let us go rock and roll."

Date: January 25, 2005
From: Adm. Terry James
To: 1st Lieut. Jeffriah Speats

Mr. Speats:

I pen these words with a mixture of sadness and joy. It has been an honor to serve with you since our initial admission in 1978. Much has transpired since, but the memories of our many successful campaigns give me a considerable boost as I contemplate my own future with the division. You have been an asset to the cause since childhood; your deceptively youthful but able assistance during the Long Beach Arena and Fabulous Forum imbroglios in 1979, when recruitment plummeted after our Fearless Leaders' integrity was questioned post-UNMASKED.

Even at the age of seven, you instinctively understood that to follow KISS meant selfless sacrifice--and that the rewards of selfless sacrifice would one day be great, as it indeed was--thrice: first, when our commanders fearlessly shed their makeup (and a number of key revolving personnel) and conquered the world naked-faced with LICK IT UP and beyond, then when the original core regrouped for a second, final assault.

And in the face of the ultimate challenge, SMASHES THRASHES & HITS, when a number of even our veteran officers second-guessed the wisdom of transferring Eric Carr (God rest his soul) from drummer's chair to vocalist on "Beth"--blasphemy to the Criss legions--you stood unwavering in your allegiance. For this, we are forever grateful. You are truly an integral chapter in the neverending KISStory.

I applaud your years of devotion and service; your stellar record is beyond compare. My heart is heavy at the prospect of your departure, but I am confident that you will carry within you the God of Thunder, and pass its legacy to your children: the KISS past, present, and future, one nation under the coliseum roof of The Universe. My parting words to you, my compatriot, are succinct and true: You have been given a gift. You have been given a road. And that road's name is rock 'n' roll.

Godspeed,
Admiral Terry James
Starchild Artillery Division
KISS Army
"E pluribus silicone"

Reprinted with kind permission.

To the man behind the desk who kept me up late Monday through Friday during my teens, I dedicate this from The Beach Boy's 1977 "Love You" album:

"Johnny Carson"

He sits behind his microphone
John-ny Car-son
He speaks in such a manly tone
John-ny Car-son

Ed McMahon comes on and says "Here's Johhny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
It's nice to have you on the show tonight
I've seen your act in Vegas out of sight

When guests are boring he fills up the slack
John-ny Car-son
The network makes him break his back
John-ny Car-son

Ed McMahon comes on and says "Here's Johhny"
Every night at eleven thirty he's so funny
Don't you think he's such a natural guy
The way he's kept it up could make you cry

Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.
Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.

Who's a man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.
Who's the man that we admire?
Johnny Carson is a real live wire.

- Brian Wilson

# 1 Sign The New Year's Arrived and The Holidays Are Over:

Seeing a clueless 1986-Billabong -sweatshirt-havin'-overstuffed-backpack-with-Star Trek-buttons-wearin' bus rider on the morning commute with his bare ass-crack hanging out for all of greater Los Angeles to see.

Thank you sir from the bottom of my heart for snuffing out the embers of remaining Yuletide Cheer and ushering me into to cold hard reality. No, really, thank you...I didn't need that cheer anyway.

Two more questions for American Airlines in regards to their inexplicable to decision to show "Rudy" to me twice on two different flights:

1. Why "Rudy" and not "Radio"? (You did show "Jerry Maguire" on my flight so its not like you don't have anything against showing old Cuba Gooding Jr. films...unless you're still holding a grudge over "Boat Trip"....If you are, I understand but its time to let go).
2. Can I expect to see "Friday Night Lights" should I fly coach on your airline to London winter 2014?

Glad I got that off my chest...

Meet the new year...same as the old year!

While I could wax romantic about me and the wife's recent trip to London and Paris, I feel the need to address the more imperative issue of American Airlines's decision to screen the 1994 Sean Astin football parable "Rudy" on both(!) my return flights home...

So if someone from American Airlines is reading, here is my list of questions:

1. Why "Rudy"?
2. Why "Rudy" and why not "Varsity Blues"?
3. Did you want to show a film as old as the meal you served me?
4. Did you want to remind a captive flying audience that Jon Favreau was always a bit thick round the middle?
5. Are Sean Astin films best served with a side of peanuts?
6. Why not show "Over The Top" and "Necessary Roughness" if you're planning to show nothing but old sports flicks to your passengers?
7. Is "Rudy" the only Ned Beatty film you plan to show on board your aircrafts this Winter?
8. Do you think Sean Astin did a convincing job playing "Rudy"?
9. Do your first class passengers get to see a newer football drama like "Any Given Sunday"?
10. Do I get bonus miles for having to set through this pile of crap twice?

Thanks American Airlines for listening...now when do we get to see The Longest Yard?